So, you’ve decided to give this sober thing the old college try! Your first outing is coming up, and you’re understandably nervous. After all, you likely haven’t enjoyed a sober night out since you were a teenager. Here are my top tips to make the most of this adventure! You’ll soon discover – perhaps incredulously, like I did – that you don’t need alcohol to have fun. And the real reason that we go to the fancy restaurant or the garden party is not to drink, but to spend quality time with the people we care about. It’s about the connection, not the liquid.

1. Plan ahead. Planning is key. Research the venue and find out if they sell alcohol-free drinks. If not, see if you can bring your own – but be prepared for everyone else to steal them! AF drinks are delightfully creative and delicious, and the boozers around you will gleefully nick yours (making themselves feel better about their own iffy consumption). Trust me, I learned this the hard way.
2. Prepare an escape route. You’ll notice when you ditch the booze that drinkers become boring really fast. And without alcohol in your system muffling your body’s normal responses, you’ll actually notice when you get tired. It’s OK to leave early. Consider it an act of kindness toward yourself.
3. Decide what you’ll say if someone asks why you’re not drinking. A white lie here is fine, especially in early sobriety when your foundation isn’t as solid. Things like “I’m on antibiotics” or “I have a big presentation tomorrow” work a treat. My go-to for a long time was “I’ve haven’t been sleeping well, and even one glass affects me.”
4. Visualize yourself having fun, then waking up the next morning fresh as the morning dew. The power of visualisation cannot be overstated. Really experience in your body how amazing you’ll feel the next day, after a glorious night of deep, restorative sleep. Aaaah.
5. Expect some cravings, and decide how you’ll deal with them. Whether meeting friends on a terrasse, attending a funeral of even going to your niece’s soccer match, alcohol is everywhere, all at once. In this booze-centric society, we can’t get away from it. The Craving Committee will inevitably convene at some point, but if you expect it and are duly prepared, you’ll be able to handle it with a modicum of grace. Again, visualization is your friend here. See yourself acknowledging the craving, taking a deep breath, then moving on. A craving is just a thought. Feel yourself easily overcoming it. You can also prepare a mantra, like “I’m so happy I’m free,” or “I’m glad I don’t have to spend the whole time thinking about my next drink!” For tips on dealing with cravings, check out my blog post here.
6. Be an anthropologist. This one got me through many a soirée with inveterate drinkers. If I couldn’t make an early escape, such as Christmas with the fam, I would don my imaginary pith helmet and magnifying glass, and observe the drunken behaviour of my entourage. Sometimes I would even narrate in my head: “See here the overdrinkers in their natural habitat. In a classic display, the large male on the left interrupts the oblivious speaker with an asinine remark that is quickly shouted down in a cacophony of grunts and hoots…” By becoming and observer, you can depersonalize and defuse triggering situations. And this can serve you in good stead in all aspects of your life as well.

At the beginning of your sober journey, the trick to successful outings is to be well prepared. If you know what to expect and decide how to deal with it, you’ll find that not drinking doesn’t have to be a big deal. So go out there and have fun, kids!