Language Matters. Terms like Alcoholic, Addict and Abstinence are unhelpful, and keep many a soul stuck in the murky no man’s land between social and destructive drinking. At some point I realized that I didn’t have complete control over my drinking. I was trying to moderate and failing. I wanted to drink socially, but I could never seem to stop at one glass, despite my best intentions. I was worried. Naturally, I turned to Google. “Am I an alcoholic?” I queried with trepidation. This simple act should have been a major red flag. The fact that I even felt the need to ask means I knew, on a subconscious level, that there was a problem. But Google returned things like “waking up in jail,” “repeatedly blacking out,” “needing to drink first thing in the morning just to function.” I was relieved! Clearly, I wasn’t an alcoholic. I could stop for days, even weeks at a time. I’d nailed Dry January. I could carry on, the coast was clear! Except it wasn’t.

Jolene Park coined the term “Grey Area Drinking,” describing the place between rock-bottom and the odd glass on special occasions. Which, you’ve probably noticed, is where most of us find ourselves. If on the outside you seem fine, like you’re thriving even, but internally you’re struggling with how much you’re drinking, you’re likely a grey area drinker.

Another word for it is “middle-lane drinking.” But however you choose to describe it, it can be an uncomfortable place to be. It can also be a lonely one, especially for those of us who question the role of alcohol in our lives. We live in an alcohol-centric world where non-drinkers are grilled for their choice. This is the only drug – because yes, it is a drug – where people don’t ask why you’re taking it, but why you’re NOT! Would you ask a smoker why they’re trying to quit? What about a cocaine addict?

If you suspect you’re a grey area drinker, if you’re struggling, know that you’re not alone. And most importantly, that it’s not your fault. Alcohol is an extremely addictive substance, and countless bright, amazing people get stuck in its trap. The good news is, you don’t have to stay stuck. And there’s no need to wait until you hit rock-bottom to ditch the booze and discover the unexpected richness of a sober life – another regrettable term, but hey! We’ll take it.

Check out Jolene’s TED Talk to learn more about Grey Area Drinking: